#NoFilterNeeded

It will come as no surprise to hear..

That I love a good snapchat filter, or Instagram…..or flipagram….or Rple or Prisma and it seems like there’s a new app every week that can distort our faces into photoshopped perfection or a piece of art.

My Instagram is full of perfectly lit, posed pictures that look nothing like me whatsoever. The accompanying text along the lines of “Damn I wish my skin looked like this for real” typed while stuffing more pore blocking chocolate down my grid!  

Admittedly this fascination is doing little to aid my “be happy with how you look” crusade, but I’m fully aware that these smoothed out, contoured images aren’t attainable and are just a bit of fun.

A friend of mine Ste Johnson, is a professional illustrator and while he uses lots of new tech to create stunning artwork….give him a good old fashioned pencil and watch him work his magic!


I wanted to share an image with you, well it’s actually a piece of art and it’s not a narcissistic exercise, it’s an appreciation of skill. 

Ste managed to lift my self confidence with just a pencil, no filter needed, just some expertly drawn lines. Check out more of his work here.  

I’ve always loved drawing, colouring in and sewing since a really young age, but I’m not naturally gifted, just enthusiastic! 

Seeing what someone can do with just a pencil and pure skill will never fail to inspire me. Way more than a snapchat filter ever could! 

I’m so lucky to work with loads of naturally talented people and I’m always chuffed to discover a new artist creating something unique whether it be jewellery, baby items or framed art work. 

I met a lovely woman at Liverpool Loves on Saturday who knits and crochets. But I’m not taking baby booties and blankets! She knits octopus and mermaids and cactus and smiley veg! Check out her work at http://www.girlinpurlaction.co.uk 

Another exhibitor, GeekCycled makes tonnes of retro badges from old school comics, cue my eldest laughing at how different the chipmunks looked back in the early 90’s! 

She went home and made some Jacqueline Wilson badges of her own, inspired by the nostalgia. 


So here’s to all the true artists, the ones sketching in front of the telly, making mood boards from magazines, and cutting up old curtains to make tepees for the kids and buying half full paint tins and picture frames from car bootys to create masterpieces! 

Inspiring others young and old. You guys rock! 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Adventure Time

What a week!

From a stint live on Radio City Talk to meeting entreprenuieral legend, John Drysdale at Liverpool Loves Business and finalising my plans for a bank holiday adventure thanks for a great PR event at Liverpool John Lennon Airport.
Since writing my last piece, ‘Focus’ I’ve adopted a policy of just saying yes to things, and this week it has really paid off.

I’m pleased  to report that I’m joining Radio City Talk on a more frequent basis as Liverpool Live Producer, Lizzi contacted me on Thursday to chat live on air about my digital detox. 

I’ll be chatting to Mick as a panel member and newspaper reviewer over the coming weeks and as we all know I love the sound of my own voice, there’s bound to be some hilarity going on. Catch me on Monday between 12 and 1pm. 


I’m also working with a brilliant Liverpool designer, Coco & Veve as owner Ria launches a brand spanking new concession with Rex retail, Bold Street. More on this after I’ve tried on her entire collection next week! 

Liverpool Loves Business inspired me to push on with my freelance dream this week as the line up of influential speakers at this years festival was better than ever!

It was standing room only at the Crowne Plaza conference rooms and I’m over the moon to have finally met Noguru MD, John Drysdale. 

Huge congrats Josh and the team at Orb CIC for another hugely successful event.

The Liverpool Loves 2016 festival continues today with a superb line up of culture, music, well-being and food, down on the Pier Head.

It’s completely free and geared towards the whole family. All you need to know in one handy 3 min video from The Guide Liverpool here

I’m heading on down for an afternoon of local bands, great food and to sample the prosecco bar! Perfect Saturday right?! 


My bank holiday adventure is set. Well at least the first flight is and I’m free-wheeling it from there!

As a single mum of three the vast majority of my days are planned down to the very last minute, so having the opportunity to just book and flight and ‘see what happens’ really is the ultimate adventure for me. 

On Thursday 25th August I’m Paris bound. The rest is up to fate!

If anyone has any suggestions on what connecting flights to catch or what attractions to see, things to do, drop me a line katereillyjames@gmail.com 

Have a fab weekend! 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Focus

I’ve recently found myself unexpectedly free over August bank holiday weekend after my plans to hit the beach for a few days of paradise were scuppered! 

Feeling incredibly low, I called a meeting of friends who have travelled within the last month and sipped JD while we formulated a new plan. (All the best plans are made this way, right?)

Liverpool airport now flies directly to Marrakesh…..dreamy! St Petersberg, Bucharest and Naples just a hop skip and a passport away and there is no way I’m wasting this rare opportunity to do something a bit different!

My friend John has not long come back from a mammoth trip to Canada, and Jim is booking flights to Moscow and the Far East with work……and I was looking at interning on a national paper in London for five days before I realised just how accessible Europe is from our very own airport in Speke. 

I haven’t travelled on my own since I upped sticks and went back to Australia in 2000 at the age of 17. 12,000 miles from Manchester to Paris to Singapore and finally Sydney. Previously I’d gone as far as town on a Saturday! 

I took to all the style guide books I have at home and thought about having the opportunity to write from my own experience. That was enough to put the wheels in motion. 

Sat around the table at MacKenzies, Rodney Street earlier this week I voiced my concerns about my little jaunt turning into yet another Taken film (what number is it now…..3…4?) but with promises to come looking for me if I don’t check in regularly (sadly not Liam Neeson) I put those fears to bed as the excitement took over.

It goes without saying that ideally I’d love to get the girls together and have a mad weekend city break, laughing til our stomachs hurt and the rose runs out! 

But the reality of it being the middle of the summer holidays and kids and work and money comes into play! Not so easy to drop everything and catch a last minute flight when you’re a mum!

However, determined to not waste this opportunity, I’ve spent hours on Kayak (travel app) looking at flights and inspired by a work event airside at John Lennon Airport this Tuesday, I’ve woken up this morning and just booked a single flight. 

It’s done, and come hell or high water, it’s going to be an amazing adventure! 

I’ll get back to you at check in. 

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Cineworld Edge Lane: A Tribute

The Guide Liverpool sent me to Cineworld, Edge Lane yesterday as the cinema prepared to close its doors for the last time.

cineworld pic

I’ve made so many awesome memories at Cineworld over the 20 years I’ve been going there and I’m slightly gutted that I ended that rein having to watch Ghostbusters as my last film, but hey ho! Having a chat with the staff and wolfing down a huge bag of popcorn made it worthwhile.

You can read my full review on The Guide Liverpool here.

Thank you to Megan, Vicky, Ian and all the staff, past and present as you are the stars of this show.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

The BMD:Law Liverpool Fashion & Beauty Awards 2016

I’ve been banging on about the FAB awards for a few weeks now as not only was I attending in an official capacity (I’m a proper journo now) but also because I’d agreed to walk the catwalk just five days before the event and I was absolutely bricking it.

In the blink of an eye it felt like it was all over, when in actual fact the evening consisted of 9 hours of non-stop laughing, applauding, cheering, catwalking, eating, prosecco swigging fun.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, this is what the BMD:Law Liverpool Fashion & Beauty Awards are all about. The science bit….

The Liverpool Fashion & Beauty Awards is an extension of the hugely popular Liverpool Lifestyle Award which was set up 8 years ago to support small and independent businesses within the region.

Since then it has grown so big that a separate ceremony was required to cope with the demand of the fashion and beauty industry in which Liverpool is widely recognised as the UK leader.

The awards took place at The Function Suite and Fusion nightclub, Fleet street last night, as over 200 guests and nominees attended to claim one of the 19 awards on offer.

With categories such as: Best Beauty Blogger, Best Small Beauty Clinic, Best Fashion Designer, Best Independent Hair Salon and Best Training Provider, competition has been fierce.

corkys

As you might expect, those working in the fashion and beauty industry, don’t do things by half and the stunning array of jewelled gowns and high end outfits on display  wouldn’t have looked out of place at the Oscars.

Event organiser, Amanda Moss began proceedings in the first of three outfits (a fabulous princess style dress in deep purple, sweetheart neckline and an endless organza underskirt) as hosts, Amanda Harrington ( wearing a floor length white and silver gown) and Reggie Phillips announced the first of the evenings winners.

Backstage, local designer Love Laura began prepping models for their swimwear catwalk show, and Relish catering staff took to the floor with pretty plated starters.

The evening entertainment came courtesy of a live set from Jake Bowness and later Sophia Spencer, plus two spectacular (and really friendly) burlesque style performers and of course the spectacle that was me attempting to strut my stuff in a collection from St Helen’s based boutique, L’avitta. (If I could put a monkey hiding his eyes emoji here, I would)

Luckily the other four girls I was walking with were total pro’s! Bianca, Juliet, Kim and Bev were such a good laugh and shared their experience which helped to settle my nerves. Kudos to the unflappable catwalk manager Natalie, who as part of the Amanda Moss PR fashion family that runs Liverpool and Manchester Fashion Week, was on hand to ensure everything ran smoothly.

Green Room Selfie

Photographer extraordinaire, Ian Williams was a friendly face at the end of the high shine, LED catwalk (which I was convinced I was going to slip on) and when the time came to face the (lets say slightly tipsy ) crowd, I felt more relaxed looking down the camera lens.

As the opening bars of Beyonce’s anthem ‘All The Single Ladies’ rang out (how apt?), it was show time! I put my best foot forward, tried to not laugh, and strutted to the end of the catwalk. Thank you Sophie and Holly, of Move Residential for cheering like full on groupies as I shashayed past, you both really helped calm my nerves.

catwalk

Within three minutes, it was done! Five days of fretting, and I absolutely loved it!

After wolfing down a filling, three course meal of parma ham, chicken and mango cheesecake, the Corkys and table wines were devoured and the prosecco was free-flowing as more and more winners were announced to huge cheers from the audience.

I have to say huge congrats to Nicole Francis who won Best Beauty Treatment, and was also my best dressed lady of the evening. Fellow table 11 dweller, Nicole is a Director at Lip Couture Liverpool and wore a stunning floor length gown that featured hand-sewn jewels and a kick flare hem line. She looked stunning!

Nicole Francis

Once dinner was done and we’d belted out a few ballads alongside vocalist Sophia Spencer, I sneaked back into the photo booth for yet more selfies with fellow The Guide Liverpool writer, Dale Roberts as the dj set-up for the after party.

I met some ridiculously talented people, from doctors, athesticians and singers to fashion designers, models and make up artists. Oh and don’t forget the bevvy of local celebs such as the very lovely Claire Simmo from Radio City 2. (My opening line was ” Oooh I stalk you on social media Claire” insert another monkey emoji here!)

Huge congratulations to Amanda Moss and event sponsor Bernadette McDonald of BMD:Law. The evening was a fun-filled celebration of the best our local, independent businesses has to offer.

With an unbeatable, friendly atmosphere it felt like being at a family wedding than a room filled with strangers.

I’ve uploaded all my images from the BMD:Law Liverpool Fashion & Beauty Awards 2016.(Most of which are blurry selfies) to my gallery. The event hashtag is #itsthelawtobefab so check out all the pics from guests on instagram and twitter!

For the official photo’s of the event, head to http://www.liverpoolfashionandbeautyawards.co.uk to check out Ian Williams’ stunning photography.

I’ve also submitted my official article to various regional news outlets too, so keep everything crossed for publishing!

 

 

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Best Foot Forward

I have set myself another challenge this weekend and the nerves have officially kicked in, big style.

I’m struggling to eat and that nervous, butterfly stomach feeling just wont leave me alone. Alright, so I’m not skydiving or bungee jumping or doing anything physically dangerous, but my self confidence is taking a real beating.

It all started on Sunday morning, as I tend to get myself involved in all manner of random things when I’m up at 5am with no school run to distract me.

I’m reporting on the, sold out BMD Law Liverpool Fashion & Beauty Awards this Saturday and I’d emailed organiser, Amanda Moss to see how prep was going, at the same time runway manager, Natalie put a call out for a model size 12/14 as she’d had a late cancellation.

13619969_863257343780839_1393320614169715236_n

Being naturally helpful, I offered up the contacts who had walked for Natalie before, but at late notice they had prior engagements. So, yep, you guessed it. I uttered the immortal words: “I’ll have a crack at it” and so a catwalk challenge was born.

Firstly I thought this would make for great viewing for my social media accounts. Reporting live from backstage at catwalk show, showing viewers the real prep, the models and of course, the collections. Actually walking the catwalk would give me extra scope to write about the industry and its age-old size issues.

Secondly I’m more likely to do a Carrie and fall on my face, like fashion road-kill while a pro steps over me which could create a YouTube vid that goes viral, adding to my social media presence, but for all the wrong reasons.

CmxDtgaWYAAK11V

It’s now Friday morning, and the nerves have really kicked in. I’ve had my nails done and hair coloured, but I’ve not magically dropped two stone and toned up in the five days since I agreed to take part.

In real terms I can walk from one place to another with relative ease, but I am the most accident prone person in the world so there’s a good chance of a trip. I’m not a natural scouse princess either, tan doesn’t suit me and my brows are just my own, but I’m hoping Emma Lampkin’s MUA team can help me blend in for the occasion.

I am coming to terms with the fact that this is me, and after watching what feels like hours of ‘How to Walk Like A Runway Model’ tutorials, I’m going to walk from one side of a room to another, exactly as I am. Head up, shoulders back, one foot in front of the other.

One thing that has to be said for fashion shows in the North West, and kudos to the organisers far and wide, is that fashion is accessible here. It’s not about pretentious shows for frowers and celebrities. The events are about celebrating talent and creativity in all its forms.

I just hope Saturday’s guests bear that in mind as I sashay all Phoebe-From-Friends-Running-like.

Catch my live updates from 5pm on my Facebook & Twitter accounts http://www.facebook.com/katereillyjames and  @Katereillyjames

Wish me luck!

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Spare Parts

This weekend I sat in a caravan in North Wales writing about a Barrow in Furness engineering company. This my friends is the future of journalism.

I’ve officially finished 6 months of NCTJ exams and studies and submitted my e-portfolio for marking. In the same week I’ve weathered the EU referendum storm, submitted 12 months worth of personal documents to HMRC who seem to think there is someone else living in my house who claims tax credits and met with Carole, my business mentor, who is hopefully going to help me set up as a freelance journalist.

It’s safe to say I’ve been under a bit of pressure the last few months which may go some way to explain the weekly bouts of sickness I’ve been experiencing. I’m not pregnant, just thought I’d make that abundantly clear. But low and behold, mid Sunday roast yesterday, the mystery illness made an unwelcome return and I’ve been living in the bathroom ever since.

62611109

Despite the crippling stomach pain and inconvenience of living in the bathroom two days a week, the worst thing to come of this situation is my deteriorating relationship with food. I swing wildly from small amounts of granola and ‘safe’ food, to absolutely nothing, to a boneless box from KFC…..and a tango. I’m getting to the point where I’m too scared to eat. During my last week of exams I ate just over 2000 calories in three days because I couldn’t afford to get sick, no where near enough sustenance for a busy mum of three.

I made the HUGE mistake of googling my symptoms around 2am when I got bored of courting the bathroom tiles. Stomach cancer, ulcerative colitis and acute pancreatitis and a tearful call to NHS direct later………..and it looks like my gallbladder is broken. Which isn’t so bad because it turns out you don’t need one!

Awaiting a scan at the moment to see what my options are.

On the positive side I’ve lost almost a stone and my work productivity rate is through the roof. Silver linings eh?

 

 

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

May I?

I’ve failed my exams this month, spectacularly. I’ve so much respect for print journalists who can knock out 100 words per minute in shorthand, especially when dealing with sensitive subjects, noisy environments and random accents. You people are like, magical or something.

Sadly I’m not sure I’m cut out to join the elite, despite my brilliant shorthand lecturer persevering with me, I have hit the 80 wpm wall and cant seem to block out all the nonsense long enough to hit that coveted centenary mark.

I bowled into college, 12 minutes late last Friday morning, amid a flurry of phone calls that wound me right up, only to realise I had no pen (not even my trusty Army, Be The Best biro) or paper to transcribe on to, urgh.

shorthand

One emotional meltdown and four and a half minutes later I had failed my 100 wpm exam. Undeterred by the fact I was busy trying to concentrate, the drama continued through-out the break and into the 80 wpm re-sit exam an hour later. Plus some kid was sitting in MY seat. Failed again, head was most definitely elsewhere and not in the world of Teeline.

I’ve stressed myself out so much this month that the stomach ulcer I cultivated back in October decided to make an unwelcome return resulting in horrendous sickness for three long weeks. I didn’t even lose any weight, no need.

My daily diet of strawberry laces, Costa and cake wasn’t helping. I routinely resort back to the usual excuse; single mum of three, studying, working to build contacts, reputation and an attractive portfolio, plus running a home…..oh and my cat popped four kittens out on Sunday morning. I’m a bit busy to say the least and I’ve survived for too long on nervous energy and sugar!

So on to the positives! I now eat food, proper grown up food, and the biggest surprise is…..I actually like it! (munching porridge with grated apple and banana in it right now in fact). I feel so much better in just 4/5 days its remarkable. If you see me loitering around KFC, you have permission to kick my ass.

And because I feel better I’ve been able to get involved with some awesome events. I spent four idyllic days in Barcelona and sat in the press box and conference room at the Nou Camp. I’ve solved a murder mystery at the The Empire Theatre with Agatha Christie’s The Mouse Trap.

I’ve (unsuccessfully) tried to nick a lamb from Farmer Ted’s ( they’re so bloody cute) and held an Amazonian tree frog! I’ve rocked out with a bunch of ten year olds at a disco party and ate my (substantial) body weight in Army field kitchen chicken jalfrezi at the Liverpool Food & Drink Festival, Sefton Park.

I had a bit of a snog with Paddy McGuinness (sorry Woernee) at Madam Tussauds, Blackpool and tickled a stingray at Sea Life Centre. Watching the Kop come alive at Liverpool V Chelsea a couple of weeks ago was phenomenal, I’ve never experienced anything like that atmosphere, and the die hard fans tell me it was rubbish at that game

I had the privilege of cuddling brand new baby Elliot and feeling so much love for my wonderful friend Lisa who brought him into the world in a convenient 20 minutes! The same day I had root canal, two fillings and a cocktail for lunch…..and a 3 hour mid afternoon nap as a result!

My little dudes have had a blast in Blackpool, 518ft up in the air at the top of the Blackpool Tower, gasped at the awesome acrobatics at the circus and built their very own tower replica from Lego. We went back to school and walked the corridors of Broadgreen International school, 17 years after I left, whole separate blog post on this shortly.

I’ve photographed my own fantastic city from the roof of the Hope Street Hotel, had a brew with the new Lord Mayor of Liverpool, Roz Gladden and begun work on my first ever complete fashion collection, ready to show in Autumn 2016.

Ulcer schmulcer. Thank you so very much to the Alice and Greg, Jay Hynd and Amanda Moss for your continued support and thrilling opportunities to write. There are tonnes of new photo’s in the gallery here and check out my most recent work with The Guide Liverpool here.

Bring it on June!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Switching Off

It’s the first Monday in May, a bank holiday of course and what better way to spend it than having a good Spring clear out? 

The house is (almost) spotless, the kids have had a good scrub and there’s no stopping me!

I’ve been unwell over the weekend and it struck me, having lain in bed in agony, just how much time I spend on social media. Is there anything else to do when your sick?? 

I’m an absolute social media junkie, I spend hours of my day on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 

With even more NCTJ exams looming I can ill afford to be checking out my friends photo’s, stalking Hacker T Dog (of CBBC fame) or posting random train selfies!

So, I have challenged myself to go cold turkey. From 6pm today I am deleting my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram apps for a week. I already feel sorry for my nearest and dearest as I’m probably going to be a nightmare by Tuesday evening.

My Court Reporting exam is on Wednesday 18th May so I’ve prepped a tonne of revision for the times I’d usually open the Facebook app. 

I’ve lined up September 2016 course information to browse for when the Twitter the kicks in.

And I’ve got a dedicated photo folder set up ready for all those selfies I’m not going to post on thee most narcissistic Instagram account since the Kardashians came to light! 

So all that’s left to say is goodbye, until next Monday! 

Have a great one! (Just don’t post it on social media til next week okay?) 

Domestic Abuse Awareness: An Open Letter

I’ve met some incredible people since starting my journalism training. The stories I’ve heard and reported on range from the hysterically funny to the utterly harrowing. I have been asked to publish the following open letter anonymously so that the domestic abuse victim and their family can continue to get on with their lives.
 For anyone who is experiencing an abusive relationship or knows someone who is there are ways to get help;
Samaritans: http://www.samaritans.org 116 123
Domestic Violence: http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk
Mind Mental health: http://www.mind.org.uk

 

Dear Ellie Phillips,
Recently I stumbled upon a video about your admission of living through an abusive relationship. First of all I would like to say that I’m truly and deeply sorry that you ever had to experience this and how brave it is that you faced it head on.
I’m more than happy to give credit where credit is due.

However, after watching your short clip in its entirety I have to say I’m incredibly disappointed in you as a journalist.

I’d like to mention now that I respectfully require anonymity due to the aggressive nature of my abuser.

As a woman who experienced a terrifying four year relationship based solely on a power trip, I feel your so called ‘survivor’ status is making a mockery of domestic abuse victims as a whole.
I say ‘victims’ because I believe the term survivor should not be used lightly.

I spent four years of my life trapped in a shell of myself because of my abusive boyfriend. Now I understand that eyebrows are going to be raised once I mention that it was my choice to stay with him.. but let me explain why.

Before I met him I was a bright 14 year old teenage girl with a promising future, loving family and close group of friends.
One of these friends introduced me to -let’s call him- Chris.
Chris was well known at school, he was the class clown and all round ladies man (somehow).

Chris told me he found me interesting and asked me on a date, completely taken aback and caught off guard by the mere idea of it I immediately said yes.

Fast forward six months and everything was just perfect, we were best friends.
Although for some reason I began to notice a little bit of taunting from my classmates. I also realised that my friend count had dropped considerably.

As any other person will know, when you’re experiencing troubles in life you turn to your best friend, so naturally I told Chris about my concerns and he was amazing. He really was, he told me over and over again how he would always be there for me in my time of need, how I was his one and only and that it would always be us against the world.

Now.. as you can imagine, a 14 year old girl being told all of this is like something straight out of a fairytale, so of course I believed every word he said and every lie he told. Why wouldn’t I..?

This is when I decided to cut my losses and try to make some new friends, Chris introduced me to his and I tried to make a go of it.

Jump ahead another 6 or so months and once again things got a little rocky, Chris’ best friend had taken it upon himself to make my day to day life a living nightmare. I couldn’t understand it, I didn’t know why this was happening to me again. I started to doubt my self worth. Whenever i tried to explain this to Chris he would laugh at me for being “dramatic”.

By this point the few relationships i had left with friends and family were beginning to deteriorate, they didn’t agree with my relationship and they certainly didn’t approve of my treatment from his friends.

Then something happened that changed even my own opinion, I confided in Chris about being sexually abused two years prior to our relationship, but I had very little time to celebrate my own personal achievement when the abuse rolled in, everyone knew, I was branded a liar an attention seeker and a “sick individual”.

So here I am, 16 years of age and feeling completely alone, I couldn’t even trust my boyfriend because I was petrified of him.
I decided to turn to a family member for support. He convinced me I had to go and see a doctor, that’s when I was diagnosed with depression.

When Chris knew something was wrong he turned back into the person I thought I was in love with, he asked me to keep him up to date on the verdict (typical fake sentiment).

Although, the response I got was far from what I was expecting, I can even quote it to you word for word because even thought eight years have gone by, those words will forever be etched into my brain.
My loving, caring, supportive boyfriend said to me: “so does this mean I have a girlfriend who pops pills everyday?”, ladies and gents what a guy, am I right?

That was the last straw for my parents, I’d officially lost any right to talk about this guy in their company. I had no future anymore, my education and any job prospects had slipped away. I self harmed daily, I was bullied mercilessly and my parents had to stand by and watch it happen.

But I still stayed.. because I had nothing left, he reminded me of this every single day. He would tell me how my friends wouldn’t stand by me if he wasn’t around, that my problems weren’t problems as far as he was concerned, and I was mimicked whenever I cried over it.

But then I left school, I was 17 and in college, I was making a go of my life, I finally built up the courage to leave him and get my life together, for a very short while.

He went to my college, he somehow managed to use this as a way of getting into my head, my friends were brainwashed, they were too scared to speak to me. I was alone again, the only way out was to be with him so I begged until he took me back. He enjoyed every single minute of the control he had and I lost what little bit of self respect I had left.

One particular evening my emotions were running high and I was a wreck, I cried for hours on end in his room but I had absolutely no consolation. All I got was mocked laughter and taunting from his friends while he played games on his xbox.. I managed to work up the courage to take off his headset and ask him to speak to me, but before I could make sense of what was happening I’d been thrown across the room.

My boyfriend punched me in the chest.

I know you’re thinking I should have ran there and then, but he manipulated me.
He cried, he said he was sorry and it’d never happen again. So I forgave him and to this day my family are unaware that he ever physically abused me and it’s probably for the best.

The day it finally ended was the day he left me for another woman even though I knew he was cheating on me, he still had the satisfaction of getting out first. A lot of things became apparent after we broke up, I heard it through the grapevine and first hand from my friends, so Ellie, here’s a little list for you;

– My boyfriend physically abused me
– My boyfriend verbally abused me
– My boyfriend cheated on me with my ‘friends’
– My boyfriend emotionally abused me
– My boyfriend sexually assaulted me
– My boyfriend told lies about me

To this day, I still suffer from depression and anxiety, infact I’ve recently been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphia Disorder, I have to take tablets and go to therapy for the foreseeable future.
All because I fell In love with a monster.

Ellie, I’d once again like to commend you for speaking out, but I fail to see how you’re helping anyone by specifically stating that you’re strong, successful and Independent because..I’m not.. but at least I’m still alive and that’s all that matters to me.

You specifically stated in your video that if it could happen to you it could happen to anyone but the thing about that is you are just anyone, like me.

It’s about recognising that there is a way out.

It’s telling people that suicide isn’t the answer.

It’s understanding that men can be victims too.

But most importantly it’s about teaching people how to reach out and get help.

Forgive me if I’m wrong but I must have missed that section of your video.
Next time you decide you want to raise awareness about something, please refrain because you’re only making it worse.
Regards,
A disappointed fellow journalist

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.