Crocs, Geese, and Giant Strawberries

There are fundamental signs of getting old, and choosing to buy a pair of Crocs is undeniably one of them. It’s official, I am middle-aged. Shouldn’t I be buying a sports car and dating a 22-year-old?

Alright, so the old adage of suffering a mid-life crisis is a bit outdated, but seriously, I want my PORSCHE 911! I’m joking, although I have bagged a younger man, but that’s not news.

The weather during lockdown has been nuts. 30 degrees one day followed by 8 days of solid rain, followed by a week of mid-twenties and 40 days and 40 nights of rain again. Like I said, nuts. I wasn’t prepared for summer.

I panicked. I didn’t know what I was doing, I just knew I didn’t want to wreck another pair of Adidas Campus by wearing them without socks, to avoid tan lines and before I knew it I was on the Very website looking at flip flops and then didn’t stock my size in Havaianas and then after three hours of scrolling for stupid flip flops, I just went for plain black, hit order and logged out.

I wasn’t even excited when they arrived. I opened the bag and there, staring back at me, were Crocs. Not Crocs like, Crocs. They’re not mules that you slip your feet into. They don’t have air holes in the front, nor a strap that goes around the heel. They don’t have Crocs written anywhere on them bar the sole, and they don’t have the logo. Oh God, I bought Crocs, didn’t I? Shit.

The weather stayed warm and so I wore them, making sure to hide them from my teen in case she started legal proceedings against me. It’s been three weeks and so far, so good. Having published this, I won’t be surprised to find my secret Crocs have been kidnapped like in some summer sandal version of Taken. I can’t see Liam Neeson turning up to rescue my flip flops. Can you?

From crocs to geese! Yesterday I wrote about The Untitled Goose Game on Nintendo Switch and oh my days, it’s so addictive! The other worrying aspect of this game is realising that acting like a complete asshat is actually really fun! Scaring a kid into a phone box by honking at him, stealing household items from the shop, lobbing a pint glass in the canal, and smashing valuable vases is a riot! Anyone else played it yet? What do you think?

Where do the Giant Strawberries fit into all this, you may be wondering. It’s simple really. I managed to get a shed load of work done today, loads of research, I’ve started making more progress on HHT Kids too. Funding, set up, content creation, talking to our website designers, getting the ball rolling with organisation status, etc. I’ve cooked, cleaned, emailed, called, text, typed, and listened. All-day long. (Still no strawberries?!)

At 5:30pm we packed up some snacks and headed out to a new park for an alfresco dinner and some exercise. I met the cutest dog, annoyed my boyfriend by calling him for no good reason, took loads of photographs, hid my little boy as he took a quick leak in the bushes, and cycled home. Bit of TV and everyone into bed.

Here I am, trying to not rustle the packet of Giant Strawberries I told the kids must have ‘fallen out of the bag at the park’ so I don’t have to share them. The old ones are the best!

 

 

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